Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that he may exalt you in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you. Discipline yourselves, keep alert. Like a roaring lion your adversary the devil prowls around, looking for someone to devour. Resist him, steadfast in your faith, for you know that your brothers and sisters in all the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering. And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, support, strengthen, and establish you. To him be the power forever and ever. Amen. 1 Peter 5: 6-11
These are hard times. Many are suffering and the future is uncertain. The San Francisco Chronicle recently had this by-line, “In a year of wondering what could possibly come next, the next thing just keeps coming.” These “next things” are like fierce winds with which we are not familiar and despite knowledge and expertise, they rise up, challenge us, and can blow us off course. Such are these days with the barrage of assaults endured by us all. Many of us are humbled.
There is now the too familiar, long endured COVID 19 pandemic with all the complexity involved in decisions about social distancing, masks, daily risk/benefit assessments, changed routines, diminished educational offerings, and chronic worry or outright fear of illness or death. There are economic losses for many, along with temporary furloughs from jobs becoming permanent layoffs; exposure to systemic racism and injustices within our country sustained by our Black brothers and sisters, resulting in protests and occasional violence; the rancorous political discourse irrespective of party, expanding polarization; brooding distrust of institutions and government by many and then the entire West Coast of the United States engulfed in horrendous fires with loss of life and property and oppressive smoke adding a heavy, gray weight to it all. The assaults are real and seem to be relentless.
As the challenges mount we ask ourselves where can we gain perspective and hope in this time of fierce winds and threat? As followers of Christ, we claim that God is in the midst of all of life, including these sufferings, but how do we find hope? One of the most encouraging ways to find that hope in the midst of this turbulence is through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.
I experienced a glimpse of this truth last year, as I co-led the Exercises while experiencing my own personal challenges. Having recently accompanied people I hold dear and close through surgery and illness and knowing a close and long-time friend was about to die, I hesitated to co-lead last year’s group. Through discernment I did agree, and then through journeying over the 30 weeks with Jesus in daily prayer along with the small group, the truth of the Holy Spirit’s presence strengthened and deepened within me. I also experienced the good work of the Holy One, bringing a disparate group of individuals with various life challenges, pain, and sufferings, as well as theological and life differences, together into a community of grace, care, and love. By focusing on Jesus, with the help of various spiritual disciplines and scriptures in daily prayer, honing our ability to listen to the Holy One while in the midst of the complicated realities of life, God offered the firm foundation needed to buffet the winds of life. Even in March as Shelter-in-Place was implemented, resulting in meeting via Zoom, the daily practices and weekly group times of the Exercises offered a sense of safe harbor each week. The awareness of being known and steadfastly loved by God in the midst of real, often messy lives and sufferings, indeed restored, supported, strengthened and established each of us to cope. Gaining the solid ground helped us each to move out into offering that love and assurance to the greater world.
It is with this humble reality that I join Susan Phillips again in co-leading a small group through the Exercises this year, over the next 30 weeks. It is a privilege to do so knowing that we are truly only guides as God directs and draws the specific individuals to this journey of deepening awareness of God’s abiding grace in all of life including the numerous assaults of our current lives.
This year we are using Kevin O’Brien’s book, The Ignatian Adventure: Experiencing the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius in Daily Life. The Spiritual Exercises were developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola, 500 plus years ago, during another very turbulent time in history. That was a time when the dominant Catholic Church of Europe was being confronted with the seeds of the Protestant Reformation, and the invention of the printing press disseminated ideas and the Bible to the common people. It was a huge shift in societies when established norms were being questioned. The future for many was uncertain. Not unlike our current time of shifting, sometimes, fierce winds.
The Exercises have often been experienced as a means of discernment in making important life decisions, but, as Kevin O’Brien writes, “For others, the Exercises are not about making a big decision about what to do but about how to be.” It is this “how to be” phrase which caught my imagination and heart in our current situation. How are we to be, as followers of Jesus within ourselves, with our God, and with our neighbors in the face of so many seen and unseen threats and future uncertainty? As O’Brien writes about the Exercises, “they teach us how to live, think, pray, love and relate in the context of commitments we’ve already made.” We all have our commitments, and the assaults are many, but the invitation is still the same as to who God is, who God wants us to be, and what God is asking of us to be in the midst of so many extreme changes.
I have learned to trust the anchor, an anchor which holds despite circumstances. The winds may feel fierce but with focusing on Jesus we are enabled to move out and forward in a truth that transcends circumstances. We know the invitation is for Christ to dwell in our hearts through faith and to trust the hand of God. Once again, I wait to see how this will unfold for each person drawn to this journey with the Exercises, within each person’s unique circumstance and amidst the winds of these unprecedented times.
Jill Chamberlain Boyce (RN, MTS, DASD), spiritual director with New College Berkeley